Ava Adore

Shift Roundup!

10.20.10, 10.22.10, 10.24.10, and 10.25.10, all 6pm-12am.

It’s been boring, what can I say. First we chalked it up to the playoffs, but the Yankees lost out due to the fact that they weren’t playing like they fucking cared—Come on. Come back out of the woodwork. You want my tits, I want your money. Fair trade.

Anyway. Each night had one good thing about it, like Keith and Bob, whom I always like bullshitting with. Ch. and I call them Penn and Teller; Keith looks exactly like Penn, and Bob looks close enough to Teller that we don’t care if they’re different people. Ch. likes to think it’s really them.

On Sunday one of my regulars, Charlie (of Proud Mary fame), came in to visit. I authentically love spending time with him. He’s such a bloody sweetheart. He just moved to Bayside, and I used to live in Whitestone, so we talked about that for awhile. He comes in with his friend Joe, who likes to hang with Lilah.

Charlie does this thing, I’m pretty sure it’s an unconscious tic, but when he’s happy or pleased, he makes little whimpery-sigh puppy noises. So if you’re leaning into him and rubbing his back and talking, he just kinda makes noises like this. It’s adorable but I don’t want to call him on it in case he gets self-conscious.

Monday I got to see Jim, who doesn’t get dances but tips well because he’s one of the liquor suppliers to the House and he does spends and I’m his favourite to chat with meanwhile. Last time we talked about Napoleon and Russia. This time ranged from Tarantino to Louis XIV.

Oh, does anyone know: Did Tarantino cameo in Kill Bill as he does in most of his other films? If so, as who? I need to find this out.

Other than that, not much went on. Hung out with regulars Tony, John and Jeff; got a few dances from randoms; nothing to remark on. I don’t remember what I wore, partly because I’m ADD with it and partly because Penn and Teller like to tip me to go through my wardrobe.

Douchebag Count: 0.
$hift Grades: C, C, D, and C, respectively.

Shift: 09.29.10, 6pm-2am.

This was an… interesting evening. I should have had omens when I walked into the back and a new dancer, Lz., looked at me, then the manager, and said, “Where did you find that?” in an appreciative tone. Turns out she was a dancer at the House a few years back.

Also funny, because she looks like one of my little brother’s friends. She was working day shift, so I only was in her company for an hour or so, during which she wanted to impress me with tricks on stage—one of which was picking up dollar bills with just her ass cheeks?

I know I was supposed to be appreciative, so I was: I recognize the strength and skill that takes. However, it still on a basic level suggests to me, between squatting and clenching, a number of other, less impressive things. My client seemed to dig it, though.

I did a few dances that night and took care of a few drunk people, like Ch.’s friend Justin from the other night who was unabashedly throwing an inordinate amount of money at the stage for her. I guess this was the evening of Attempts to Impress?

Anyway, he was trashed and we had to put him in the car to sleep it off a bit. That bad. The client-highlight of my evening, though, was when a group of 3 (or was it 5? the group seemed to grow) came in a little after midnight.

One was a girl in plaid, another was her engaged friend, and the other was the friend’s fiance’s best friend. The Best Friend Man liked asses, liked me, and had this idea where he wanted to get all three of them a lapdance.

It was like Musical Chairs, if people were chairs and instead of walking between beats you were grinding. Okay. Just so we have correct visuals. So for the space of 3 lapdances I rotated between the 3 of them, and that was pretty funny.

Nothing other major to report. Emotions were high because both Ch. and Lilah were having bad nights, so I spent some time talking with each of them. I learned a new ending to one of my upside down tricks. Wore Hot for Teacher all night.

Douchebag Count: 0.
$hift Grade: B-

Shift: 09.08.10, 6pm-2am.

Wednesday, I worked my ass off. I spent the entire night with the same client… Or is that plural? Anyway, I began with Bob (whom I’ll call Bobert) and in time Mike came to be included. More on that later.

So I forget if I’d even had first set yet, but I’m sitting on the end of the bar and Bob comes in and I say hello in my usual friendly way and he looks all offended, swearing that we’ve met before and why can’t I remember his name?

And I’m sitting there thinking, There’s no way I’ve seen him before—at least not in the past 6 months. The job has vastly improved my ability to remember names, yes, but I’ve always been good with faces and he doesn’t look familiar to me.

Now, I can be confused with other dancers. That hasn’t happened much since I dyed my hair blonde and pink, but when I was brunette I got confused with Ry. If we had met, I would have been brunette, and she would have still worked at the House.

But no, he swears he knows me, and I’m like, okay, let’s start over. And that was the beginning of a very long and lucrative night. I got about 5 dances from him over the course of the night and another 3 from his friend Mike, whom Lilah was sitting with.

It felt like a surreal party. We had a great time, drank and bullshitted and performed and laughed. Mike even bought me a new stage costume. It got even more surreal when we suggested we go for a Private, and they actually said they’d rather pay us.

That’s usually code for ‘I’ll give you $20 maybe to shut up,’ but they did actually pay us the going rate for private dances, though my gent needed a little gentle prodding from Mike. All in all a good night, including tag-team performance. I’ll let Lilah tell that.

Douchebag Count: 0.
$hift Grade: A+

Shift: 09.01.10, 8pm-4am.

Made all my money at the end of the night, after 2am. Had a few tippers in the beginning, like Carlos who didn’t speak a lick of English who was friends with a new dancer Sh., and some others. Chatted with P Escalade, talked to Jason, nothing major.

Sat with a guy who’d never been to the House before, Justin. Justin was also tipped me a few extra for sitting with him, he told me about how he worked an 11 hour job and went to school and I asked why in the hell he was out so late and wasn’t it past curfew?

He wanted me to take his House ‘lapdance virginity’ but he needed to go get more money and his friend was pushing to leave, so he just said he’d be back. Sat with Nick, a Scottish gent who does international porn, interesting conversationalist to say the least.

When I was walking the well for my last set, a gent who’d just come in tipped and chatted: he was in to find a girl who would perform privately with his friends on a sex toy, but instead he got me. He took me for a dance first and then continued for a 15.

And no, I will not perform privately for his friends on a sex toy, which I was clear on, though he enjoyed himself nonetheless and was a respectful client; can’t ask for more. He was supposed to leave me his name; I feel bad I don’t recall it.

Some kind of nuclear war was going on behind the scenes last night; I know some girls were fired, but that’s only part of the picture. I’ve never seen so many locked doors at the House before, which only compounded other stressful events the night held.

Bonded more with Rv. No bruises, but did something painful to my back. I know more upper pole tricks but I feel like I’m forgetting the minor spins I used to know. It’s a weird feeling, as if I have this repetoire and if I don’t use it all, I forget pieces.

Wore Corona and Halestorm. Decided to do Slave Leia and Starchild for Halloween week. No one knows Closer well enough to get Alice/Jane and doing Jessica right would take too much work right now.

Douchebag Count: 0.
$hift Grade: B-

Off to Los Angeles!

Well folks, I’m off to LA for a few days!
Be back on Monday, have a great weekend.

Now for a mini-shift report, cos any longer and I think I may miss my flight. That’s dedication, kids. Dedication.

Shift: 08.18.10, 6pm-3am.
No douchebags, grade A.
Halestorm & Cherry Kirsch.

Sat with Mark, a regular of Ri’s, got a dance. Hayley and Ryan, the husband-and-wife, came in and got dances too. Al, one of my regulars, came in and got a private with me and Sr. Rounded out the evening with a cute pair of possible, interested dancers; Lilah danced with Megan while I danced with Ginny. There was a sweet foreign guy tossing $20s for stage sets. I think that about sums up the night!

Shift: 08.04.10, 6pm-2am.

I’ve been slacking. Anyway…

Wednesday was an awesome shift, actually. “It’s going to be a good night, tonight, I have a feeling,” Lilah said to me over lunch that day. We do this thing where we drink too many margaritas on my lunch break at Chili’s about two times per week. And she was correct. Opened up with Sammy, as per usual, who was in a tipping mood, so that was fine by me.

Then, over the course of the night, I was actually top girl for number of lapdances. I think I did about 12, which is high for the House in one shift. I had a client named Billy who did a private with me and Ri.; he took a lot of time to work up, he kept his money in his work boots, and he liked to keep his phone in my bra. I don’t know.

After Billy left, I hung with the regular, Robbie (birthday boy a la Grey Goose catastrophe and piles of Patron), then on to a gent named Danny, and finished up doing 4 dances with St. and Al. Danny, being the sole non-regular in that part of the lineup, was the most interesting.

He picked me up right off stage, gave me a $50 stage tip just to get my attention, so of course I went over. He was a middle aged gentleman out with a buddy just looking to soak up the scenery, but he gave me my oddest compliment to date—he liked my nose; I think my nose is my least attractive feature—so that stuck with me.

We talked, as we are wont to do, and though he didn’t dance with me he tipped me really, really heavily for nothing more than keeping him company. He was such a gentleman and he says he likely won’t come back because he ‘likes me too much,’ but I wouldn’t mind another visit at all.

No bad bruises that night, costumes were Pinot Noir and La Cage. Busy night.

Douchebag Count: 0.
$hift Grade: A++

Shift: 07.28.10, 6pm-2am.

Not gonna lie: I’m tired. So this is going to be a short, highlights-only type deal. I even had quotes lined up from last night, but I forgot them.

First dance went to Bryan, the mental case worker I mentioned from Monday; we seem to have similar schedules, I always see him. Second went to Tommy, the brother of Gene, who was friends with the owner and the deejay; third went to Gene. We did a lot of shots. It was fun. A butch came in who was friends with one of the dancers, so I got to flirt for a little, and that was fun too.

No new bruises. Costumes were Faster Pussycat, SOS (what I decided to call the day-glo one), and Pinot Noir. Tried to sell some of my stuff off (a pair of brand new heels, a Hustler pinstripe pleated velcro skirt, 2 different tops, the Show Stopper outfit, and a pair of black knee highs)—succeeded in only selling the latter 2. Note to self: Ag. owes me 10 for Show Stopper.

Douchebag Count: 0.
$hift Grade: B-

Shift: 07.14.10, 8pm-4am.

Slow night. It seemed promising at first, because it was decently busy at 9pm, but as the night wore on we got less and less customers, plus no 2-o’clock-rush (aka Drunk Boys Have the Most Fun). So it was not a very productive evening.

Lilah, Ny., and I began the night with our Douchebag of the Evening! Insert canned applause sound byte here. We sat with Jimbo (we can not make this up) for about an hour, and he did tip us, but then he pulled a pseudo-Bank Run/ner…

He asked us to change into our more off-beat costumes. He wanted me to pull out the Catholic Schoolgirl (which I like, never wear any more but just carry around cos it’s a staple) and Lilah in her nun getup and Ny. in her robin’s egg blue PVC.

True to form, by the time we came back to collect and show off, he was nowhere to be found. Cowardice at its classiest.

After that I had the pleasure of bullshitting with John from Westnyle (metal band, check them out) and we talked for hours, mainly about music and the human condition, as if you would be surprised by that. He gave me one dance, my only of the night.

And, to date, hands-down, my favourite dance. I don’t know if I can even call it that. He kept making faces and funny movements the whole time, which made ‘sexy dancing’ pretty much impossible. We spent most of the five minutes laughing.

He was my last customer and I was his “Fifth favourite person.” Which I suppose is a plus, since by the first fifteen minutes of talking I was his ninth favourite person, so I moved up in rank.

Other than that, I just hung out with the girls. Lo. came in briefly; I hadn’t seen her since Friday, apparently she’s doing day shifts now—sad times. And Ds. got wrecked, which, if it is at all possible, made her even more adorable.

I am not kidding when I say I brushed her hair for her like a little girl. She was so giggly and cute and entertaining. I believe it is an all-out talent for a girl to be absolutely darling while she’s absolutely shitfaced.

Minor bruising. Costumes: Limewire, Catholic Schoolgirl, Punk Rock Princess, Boifriend.

Douchebag Count: 1.
$hift Grade: D

Shift: 05.19.10, 11pm-4am.

So with how there’s really been no money at the club lately, I decided to go in with Lilah for a late Wednesday shift to see if it was any better (as I am usually there Thursdays and Mondays). I got my Show Stopper outfit (see previous post) in the mail yesterday and thought I’d try it out, besides.

There wasn’t much of a spending difference. 1 dance, 1 douchebag, pretty average statistics lately, unfortunately. My first client was the dance/douche combo. I was called over by Douchebag of the Evening, who was there with a girl, Traci. She turned out to be very sweet and she is who received the dance. More on Dbag in a bit.

Then no one paid attention to me, so I did a costume change into what Ry. calls my “MILF” outfit: “muppet I’d like to fuck.” Don’t ask. It involves fluorescent fringe. That didn’t work out either, so I pulled out the big guns: Snow White. Why everybody loves Snow White, I don’t know, but I won’t complain.

So as Snow White I made my biggest tips of the night, first with a guy who was very close to being a Screwdriver except he was tipping Dy. and I very consistently. When we were clear there would be no ‘happy ending’ in a dance of any kind, he tipped each of us 20 to do a heavy makeout with each other. I was not going to complain.

Last set of the night, a group of 3 girls and a guy came in, around 3:15. The DJ was playing my main songs, Mirrors and Ka-boom Ka-boom, so I was rocking pretty hard. They made it rain for me, so it was a nice ending to the evening, and they were all sweet. A shame I couldn’t stay to chat with the place closing up.

No news is good news: Minor bruising, not worth adding to the war wounds gallery. I thought I was going to have way worse friction bruising from some of the spins I was doing, but so far, so good.

Douchebag Count: 1.
$hift Grade: D