Ava Adore

Shift: 07.20.10, 6pm-2am.

It was a complicated night, lots of highs and lows. Uncharacteristically, I’m going to do a “Read More” cut in my shift summary because it’ll get lengthy… but interesting.

Started out at 6, met up with Lilah who was already working, came in with Ri. and Ny. Chatted with Lo. for awhile, who was on day shift, then I sat with John, a regular that Au. introduced me to a month or so back. An older gent, he was not very talkative, but nice enough, and he got one dance from me before he left around 7.

I sat with Tony for awhile, another regular with whom I’ve danced before; he was high, as usual. I think I enjoy his company because trying to figure out the thought processes behind his sentences is like a game. He bought Ny. and I X-Rated shots before he left—and he inspired the new “You Know You’re A…” series I’ll be doing.

After that was some serious dead space until about 10, when two gents walked in and sat across the bar from us, Anthony and Mike. Mike waved at me, so Ny. and I went over to talk to the two of them. It was clear that I hit it off way better with Anthony than I did with Mike, who seemed kind of withdrawn.

Anthony, on the other hand, was completely awesome. He joked around a lot with us and I wish I could recall even half of the funny things that were said. It started off with how he’d been golfing that day and it had been “his best golfing day to date”—also his only. He joked that his ‘mama dressed him,’ khakis and all.

Not fifteen minutes into it, he looks right at me and says, “Well, let’s get it over with,” with a wink. Mike called him gay earlier and it became a running joke that he actually doesn’t like vagina, so Ny. and I were to ‘turn him straight.’ (Don’t get me started on the politics, okay?) I was his first dance.

When I came back, the three of us talked for some more, and Anthony said he wanted Ny. next, and then the both of us together. So he took Ny. back for a lapdance and I hung back and waited for them. They came back—and so did Mike, who had also gone for a lapdance with another dancer—but Mike was livid.

Read More

Shift: 07.18.10, 8pm-4am.

I was only talking to a customer for about ten minutes when Lilah’s boyfriend came in. I didn’t know this right away: I only know this because Lilah walked over and presented a plastic bag to me.

At first I was wary. When someone, even your best friend, presents you with a closed plastic bag of indeterminate weight, you, too, would become a little suspicious. Turns out there was no need! It was a wonderful surprise and I learned a new lesson:

Strippers LOVE cotton candy.

Money, too, but also cotton candy. I had mentioned to Lilah when we drove into work that I wanted to eat the clouds (I’m a touch synaesthetic). Since I couldn’t, they reminded me of cotton candy, and so she’d set about to procure it. Awesome.

We shared, because we’re nice, and you wouldn’t believe the smiles. After hanging out with Buckles, my friend Marilyn came in and hung for a couple of hours; new to strip clubs, she looked like a deer in headlights most of the time, so I let her get acclimated while I worked.

I hung with a small birthday party of Tony, Brian, and Anthony; Brian took a shine to me right off and got a dance from me despite his newly healing Prince Albert piercing. Tony, the birthday boy, also got a dance from me; Anthony got one from Ny.

After that I finally got to spend time with a customer who comes in pretty regularly, “P Escalade,” who’d been wanting to see me but one or both of us is always busy. He tipped me beautifully and we talked a bit about advertising and his cam site.

Stage tips were good, rounded off the evening spending some time with “D Smooth” (“Do you really want me to call you that?” “It’s what people call me.” “…Okay.”) who apparently goes to Ny.’s gym.

Point of interest: Apparently I heard “B Smooth,” Lilah heard “T Smooth,” and when I went to ask Ny. to get a definitive answer, his name is actually “D Smooth.” Creative vs uncreative? Vs bad hearing in a loud bar? You be the judge.

All in all, I had a fair amount of money thrown at my ass last night. Okay by me. The music was frustrating; the dj played the same song three times for me. As much as I like any song, I can’t dance to it three times. I just… can’t. Haha.

My knees are ugly and in pain but no bruises to really show for it. Costumes were Limewire, Hot for Teacher, and Cherry Kirsch. Me and the girls decided to skip out tonight, we’re going back Tuesday.

Douchebag Count: 0.
$hift Grade: B-

Shift: 07.14.10, 8pm-4am.

Slow night. It seemed promising at first, because it was decently busy at 9pm, but as the night wore on we got less and less customers, plus no 2-o’clock-rush (aka Drunk Boys Have the Most Fun). So it was not a very productive evening.

Lilah, Ny., and I began the night with our Douchebag of the Evening! Insert canned applause sound byte here. We sat with Jimbo (we can not make this up) for about an hour, and he did tip us, but then he pulled a pseudo-Bank Run/ner…

He asked us to change into our more off-beat costumes. He wanted me to pull out the Catholic Schoolgirl (which I like, never wear any more but just carry around cos it’s a staple) and Lilah in her nun getup and Ny. in her robin’s egg blue PVC.

True to form, by the time we came back to collect and show off, he was nowhere to be found. Cowardice at its classiest.

After that I had the pleasure of bullshitting with John from Westnyle (metal band, check them out) and we talked for hours, mainly about music and the human condition, as if you would be surprised by that. He gave me one dance, my only of the night.

And, to date, hands-down, my favourite dance. I don’t know if I can even call it that. He kept making faces and funny movements the whole time, which made ‘sexy dancing’ pretty much impossible. We spent most of the five minutes laughing.

He was my last customer and I was his “Fifth favourite person.” Which I suppose is a plus, since by the first fifteen minutes of talking I was his ninth favourite person, so I moved up in rank.

Other than that, I just hung out with the girls. Lo. came in briefly; I hadn’t seen her since Friday, apparently she’s doing day shifts now—sad times. And Ds. got wrecked, which, if it is at all possible, made her even more adorable.

I am not kidding when I say I brushed her hair for her like a little girl. She was so giggly and cute and entertaining. I believe it is an all-out talent for a girl to be absolutely darling while she’s absolutely shitfaced.

Minor bruising. Costumes: Limewire, Catholic Schoolgirl, Punk Rock Princess, Boifriend.

Douchebag Count: 1.
$hift Grade: D

Shift: 07.12.10, 6pm-4am.

Oh man, where to start. This wound up being my longest shift to date, not really on purpose. I did a 6-2, as I tend to on Mondays, but wound up staying later because Todd, a customer I hang out with, came in around 1 with his friend George.

It was also Ny.’s first night, so that was good in itself. She seemed nervous at first, but by the end of the night she’d scored 2 dances all on her own, so she’ll do just fine. Not like that was a question: her pigtails and glasses pretty much make her a hit right off.

My customers are kind of a blur to me; this is why I try to update the very next morning—and not a day later like this.

I know one of them was a douche, and I tried very politely to explain to him why he was a douche as he tipped me, but, he wasn’t so keen on hearing it. He was a low-level Pimp Juice: he felt he should only tip a girl if he ‘paid attention to her’ (and chose to pay attention to nearly none of them).

After getting tired of getting too much sass from girls, who on the polite scale simply said ‘Hello’ and ‘Are you tipping?’ after waiting too long, and on the harsh scale some had a few choice words, he decided to leave. Godspeed, I tell you. I forget his name. Whatever.

Apart from Todd, who got 2 dances from me at the end of the night, I had 1 other dance from a gentleman whose name I never got; he never even spoke to me. I danced to Bad Things and he was so into it that he took me to the lapdance room immediately after I got off stage.

Other than that, Candi brought in a new outfit for me, Limewire, which I’m in love with. Also, the deejay for the night played a song for me that he thought I’d dig, so I was excited for that. I’ll post it in a little. No bruises; costumes were Miss Scarlet, Second Skin, and Yellow Card.

Douchebag Count: 1.
$hift Grade: C

Shift: 07.06.10, 6pm-2am.

I had fun tonight, even though I didn’t make a lot of money. I should say that was definitely by choice. There were people; I just wasn’t in the mood to hustle. I had one client and I was pleased with said client and that was that.

Hue, alias “Tiffany Bond,” international man of mystery, knighted last evening and gone to school in Moscow (“I meant St. Petersburg! St. Petersburg! Damn. Now I have to kill you. You know too much.”). Obviously, apart from the name Hue, all of that was horseshit. And it was amazing.

He was full of so many funny stories; apparently he comes to the House on an off for something ridiculous like twelve years. No kidding. He looked like Ken Jeong, but balding. He told me about the “Sasquatch Years” and horrible tales concerning his old boss’s breasts and more.

He was friends and a regular of Ag., but she came on after I’d already been sitting with him, so he kept us both and we had a great time. I love hanging with Ag. anyway—and she is a master on the pole, so graceful, and definitely one of our best trick dancers, possibly the best (torn between her and Kt.).

So Hue spoiled us rotten in tips, shots, drinks and dinner. I’ve never had a client buy me dinner at the House before (we have a great kitchen) and it was just really nice and fun and relaxing, which probably set my mood for not feeling like hustling the rest of the night.

After he left, I spent some time with Brey, who came in; she’s Lilah and my other best friend, as I’ve mentioned. Well, now she’s joining us! I showed her around, chatted her up with management, left her to the whims of our house costume designer, and she starts Monday as Nyx (henceforth Ny.).

So I spent the rest of the night bullshitting with Ny. and Sk.; Ny. met the girls and really enjoys watching Ml., her strippercrush, so we made sure to be around whenever Ml. went on stage. Ml. doesn’t do a lot on stage, strictly speaking, but she is such a graceful and elegant dancer that she is just a pleasure to watch.

The fire alarm went off last night… More on that later.

Costumes: Yellow Card and Miss Scarlet. Tried out 2 of the 3 new outfits. I’m on the fence about Yellow Card specifically because I tend to shy from bikini-style tops, but I got compliments on it. Music: Ditching some new ones, thinking of adding Heaven’s a Lie by Lacuna Coil. It’s slow for me, but I love it.

Douchebag Count: 0.
$hift Grade: C