Ava Adore

Learn the Lingo

» “Christmas” - At the House, Christmas is the term for alcohol we bring in, since we’re technically not supposed to do that because we’re technically supposed to get someone at the bar to pay for us. But let’s be honest, you can’t get drunk on a drink here or there, and some nights, some nights, you want it to feel like a party. It’s called Christmas because it’s a present - a surprise we don’t do all the time, and when we do, it’s like bloody Christmas morning in the locker room.

» “Quiet Time” - Relatively new, but catchy. I was being an ass because Lo. had returned to work and I hadn’t seen her dance since she’d been fired, so I said obnoxiously “Shhhhhh!” to the girls sitting around me chatting. “It’s quiet time.” Meaning time to focus on the girl on stage. At first the joke was funny, then I got made fun of, and then it caught on. So now people say “Shhh! Quiet time!” when they want to watch the stage.

» “Synchronized Stripping” - When the two girls on stage are doing the exact same stripper moves at exactly the same time. Lz. and a new girl were doing this on Monday night and we didn’t know what to make of it. It had all the allure of synchronized swimming - it’s cool that you can do that… but also kind of weird. A whole surreal aspect to performance. High art or low brow? You be the judge.

Shift: 09.29.10, 6pm-2am.

This was an… interesting evening. I should have had omens when I walked into the back and a new dancer, Lz., looked at me, then the manager, and said, “Where did you find that?” in an appreciative tone. Turns out she was a dancer at the House a few years back.

Also funny, because she looks like one of my little brother’s friends. She was working day shift, so I only was in her company for an hour or so, during which she wanted to impress me with tricks on stage—one of which was picking up dollar bills with just her ass cheeks?

I know I was supposed to be appreciative, so I was: I recognize the strength and skill that takes. However, it still on a basic level suggests to me, between squatting and clenching, a number of other, less impressive things. My client seemed to dig it, though.

I did a few dances that night and took care of a few drunk people, like Ch.’s friend Justin from the other night who was unabashedly throwing an inordinate amount of money at the stage for her. I guess this was the evening of Attempts to Impress?

Anyway, he was trashed and we had to put him in the car to sleep it off a bit. That bad. The client-highlight of my evening, though, was when a group of 3 (or was it 5? the group seemed to grow) came in a little after midnight.

One was a girl in plaid, another was her engaged friend, and the other was the friend’s fiance’s best friend. The Best Friend Man liked asses, liked me, and had this idea where he wanted to get all three of them a lapdance.

It was like Musical Chairs, if people were chairs and instead of walking between beats you were grinding. Okay. Just so we have correct visuals. So for the space of 3 lapdances I rotated between the 3 of them, and that was pretty funny.

Nothing other major to report. Emotions were high because both Ch. and Lilah were having bad nights, so I spent some time talking with each of them. I learned a new ending to one of my upside down tricks. Wore Hot for Teacher all night.

Douchebag Count: 0.
$hift Grade: B-