Ava Adore

Shift: 11.05.10, 6pm-1am.

Put on 3 new songs to the set, Cloud Nine by Evanescence; Losing My Religion by Justin Murphy; and Heaven’s a Lie by Lacuna Coil. On test runs I feel pretty good with them on stage, I like their energy.

Unsurprisingly, Heaven’s a Lie is the one I’m on the fence about. I finally broke down and added it, and it does work better than I thought it would… but not as good as others, so I hate ‘taking up space’ in my set with songs that don’t get me going on stage.

I started out the night with Penn and Teller - sorry, sorry, I mean Keith and Bob - which is always a good time. ‘H’lo, honey!’ ‘Allo, baby!’ They’re so damn jovial. They’re a great example of how to be a good client without getting lapdances.

I then spent some time with a would-be douchebag. The ‘would-be’ is because he paid me, and paying me makes you automatically less of a douchebag, because putting up with douchebaggery is part of the job.

The gent and I talked at length, and he was very kind; he tipped me well on stage, enough to get me over, and then he said he’d like to pay me for my time to sit and talk, so we did. Except then he wasn’t going to pay me for my time.

So I laid into him, and guilt-tripped him, and was all like, ‘You said you’d pay me for my time, that’s why I’m here, you know it’s my job,’ (because we’d been being that up-front), ‘and if you’d like me to stay longer you’ll need to do that.’

He grumbled about it but did finally pay me, ‘Just so you know, most guys don’t do this.’ I said, ‘Actually, most guys that say they’ll pay me for my time, do. Now, would you like me to stay longer?’ and he said, ‘No, that’s alright, go get dances.’

So I went to the back to change and when I came back out, Joe and Charlie were there! Charlie burnt me a Bruce Springsteen cd, he says if I can’t find one song to like then we can’t be friends anymore. He’s too funny.

It was Charlie’s birthday, so I stayed an hour past my shift to hang out with them (gladly!). Joe bought him 2 dances from me, I changed into street clothes and hung out a little more. Ended the night on that note.

Wore and retired/sold Faster Pussycat, the thing was too annoying to wear to actually keep. Changed into Starchild, the remnants of said costume from Halloween, but now it’s mainly just a cute bikini. No bruises.

Douchebag Count: 0
$hift Grade: A

Shift: 10.15.10, 6pm-2am.

This was a really fucking intense shift. Long report.

So much happened. So much surprised me and concerned me and taught me new things. Like why guys consistently try to solicit sex work from dancers. And that Tr. can actually be pretty nice. And that sometimes the things you want destroy you. And that if they want you bad enough, it doesn’t matter what you’re wearing.

One by one…

I sat with two gentlemen, Keith (not the possessive one) and his friend. They look like two circus guys I can’t remember the names of. Keith tipped me very heavily and we spent about two hours bullshitting. He was very frank and, despite being good humoured, he said flat out: If you’re not giving me a blow job, I don’t want a dance.

I was taken aback by his honesty and his frankness and recognized this as a point of opportunity for learning, since he didn’t want me to leave, despite him dubbing me ‘Snow White’ for my modesty (Good thing he didn’t know about my costume?). So I asked him, in a non-jackass tone for once, ‘Why don’t you just get a prostitute?’

Read More

Off to Los Angeles!

Well folks, I’m off to LA for a few days!
Be back on Monday, have a great weekend.

Now for a mini-shift report, cos any longer and I think I may miss my flight. That’s dedication, kids. Dedication.

Shift: 08.18.10, 6pm-3am.
No douchebags, grade A.
Halestorm & Cherry Kirsch.

Sat with Mark, a regular of Ri’s, got a dance. Hayley and Ryan, the husband-and-wife, came in and got dances too. Al, one of my regulars, came in and got a private with me and Sr. Rounded out the evening with a cute pair of possible, interested dancers; Lilah danced with Megan while I danced with Ginny. There was a sweet foreign guy tossing $20s for stage sets. I think that about sums up the night!

Shift: 06.07.10, 6pm-10pm.

Well, this was interesting.

Lilah and I hauled ass into work, even though her neck was fucked and my ankle was sprained, we are that kind of awesome. We began with a certified Drunken Monkey named Michael, who was shouting dancers’ names (“Ls.!!!!! Ls.!!!!”) and very, very drunk.

We didn’t really have to talk to him, and we got to play two ends against the middle with his friend, so it was at least entertaining for us. He also flipped us 4 bucks apiece. So, while a certifiable douchebag, I’m not going to put him in the count since he wasn’t a douchebag to me—just around me, loudly.

Around this time we just sat and got bored until a gent walked in and sat on the far side of the bar making eyes at me and smiling. I gave him a little ‘ladylike wave’ and he called us over. He’s foreign—Bulgaria, I think—and at first I was very put-off by him.

Sammy is a combination of about 2 kinds of douchebag, the Screwdriver (which I ‘met’ first) and the Father Figure (which came out the more he drank). Now again, why did I stick around to find this out? And why doesn’t he actually qualify as a douchebag of the night?

Because he flipped me 20s every 10 minutes.

No joke. Just for sitting there, smiling, and laughing. He liked his women ‘nice, quiet, and pretty.’ Golden Rule bullshit. When I would give him sass for something offensive he’d said, he would say, ‘Excuuuuuuse me!’ in his very thick accent. It was difficult, but I made a valiant effort.

So yes, it began with him trying to proposition me for sex outside the club about 2 or 3 different ways, and then when I said I didn’t do that about 2 or 3 different ways, he dismissed me. He then called me back after my first stage set and wanted me to keep him company. I obliged.

He then turned Father Figure on me; at the same time as tipping me heavily and telling me how beautiful I am and what a ‘good looking woman’ I am, he’s also telling me about respect between two people, and don’t touch him, and can I cover myself up—y’know, put a shirt on?

Anyway, I’ve got some good (read: bizarre) quotes from him I’ll try to remember. I bid him adieu around 10pm, since Lilah wasn’t feeling well and 2 sets on stage wasn’t doing my ankle any favours, so we got permission from the manager to leave early.

Place was busy when we left, so I’m hoping the girls continued to make bank. Best “A” in 2 hours I’ve ever made. Costumes? Lace Domme—without the riding crop.

Douchebag Count: 0? 0.
$hift Grade: A

Shift: 05.31.10, 8pm-4am.

It was a good night. Everything came pretty easy to me. I was the first one up, since it was holiday, so we got shift pay (covers tip out +10!), and luck was in my favour: the first guy in the place took a shining to me.

His name was Al, or El, I think it was Al; his English was good but his accent was heavy. No dances, but he enjoyed tipping me, so I let him. He was a little grabby, but otherwise okay. Sets overall left me with over 100 singles, so I’m okay with that, too.

Some friends came in and I chilled with them and Dy. for a little while… Oh! Al paid to see me kiss Dy. and Ds., so I did. I have the life, I tell you. Last time, Lx. asked me if it was torture to work at the House as a lesbian: I said, only on the good days.

After that, I got heavily tipped for giving this very big man, Greg (not the regular), a massage; his whole back was a total mess of knots and hardness, it took all of my weight to really get at it, so the tips were appreciated. It was definitely work.

After the set that, thankfully, called my hands away from that, I got immediately called over by a younger, 20something gent named Tiger who proceeded to get 1 dance and 1 private with me. He was a gentleman and I enjoyed working with him very much.

Attempt #2 with handcuffs went a lot better. They went over particularly well in private (since it makes the boys not touch me!) and I got better using them on stage. Probably going to keep them in my repertoire, along with the fan and the riding crop.

Costumes tonight: Girl Friday, Hot for Teacher, Pixie.

Douchebag Count: 0.
$hift Grade: A