Ava Adore

Obs: Queerer Than You Think

This post picks up where this one left off.

So you’ve got the basic idea: this is an oddly feminist space, based on the interactions between females at the House and our chosen arrangements with the establishment. But what about the interactions between the girls and the (predominantly male) clients?

Men walk through the door with easy assumptions:
- The bodies on stage are female.
- They identify as girls, women, etc.

These assumptions are based on the nature of strip clubs. Because they ‘know’ this, men are actually wiling to overlook it. It’s the strangest thing I’ve ever seen. You can challenge them left, right, and sideways, presenting as ‘male,’ socializing as ‘male,’ and they somehow accept this ‘maleness’ and thus assume a ‘female’ role. It is amazing.

Offering stereotypically ‘female’ socialization will actually hinder you as a dancer. Men will not approach you, even if they like you; at best they’ll have their friend, or a bartender, shyly call you over. They will sit in their bro-section laughing and ignoring the world until you approach them. It’s like the giggling gaggle of girls at a bar—reversed.

In this space, a dancer is able to be as ‘male’ as she wishes; she appropriates male privilege, being the aggressor, the pursuer, the breadwinner. She chooses you; she makes you feel wanted; she is cat to your mouse; and you pay her for it. Her interactions are her choices; if she doesn’t like you, she leaves, no consequences.

Don’t believe me?

Shave your head, dress in men’s clothing on stage, and still be a successful dancer. You don’t have to, but it helps make my point; after all, I do it.