Ava Adore

DSM of Dbags: Type K: “Dramatic Foil.”

Installment eleven of the catalogue of the douchebags I meet.

The other night’s Douchebag of the Night: Type K, “Dramatic Foil.”

The psychology of the Dramatic Foil hinges on the presence of a Boobytrap. For some reason, this gent decided to take his lady friend to the club. And since this particular lady is a Boobytrap, she’s not too interested in being there, and he’s not too interested in being there: he’s interested in upping his chances with the lady he brought. It’s been awhile since I had a new douchebag to catalogue, but the Night of the Living Douchebags highlighted this specimen for me. We were overrun with Boobytraps of all sexual preferences and orientations. This guy came in with some of them.

The Dramatic Foil isn’t actually interested in the girls on stage—and heaven forbid he should be, because that would ruin his brilliant plan. You see, he believes that by bringing his girl to the club, he can ego-boost her and use us as playing field for comparisons.

“Oh baby, you’re so much hotter than that girl.”

“She doesn’t even do anything for me. I’m only looking at you.”

“You dance way better than her!”

“I’m glad you’re not like these girls. You’re different.”

You get the idea. I’m sure the tactic sounds better when some of the words are drowned out by enigmatic thumping bass lines. Anyway, he’s trying to impress her, and it doesn’t do so well with impressing us, especially since neither of them want to be there and neither of them want to tip. Awkward!

Go home and critique porn already. Oh I forgot, you haven’t gotten that far yet to be able to watch porn with her, and that’s why you’re still doing this stupid shit for her attention.