Ava Adore

‘You got a purdy mouth.’

“Your girlfriend’s got a great ass,” Rh. said to me barside around 1am.

“Yeah—But she’s not my girlfriend,” I correctly kindly, mixed between surprised and scared. It was odd that suddenly we were being viewed as a couple, when we are still getting to know each other! But also somewhat validating, insofar as coworker recognition.

It is still a pleasant surprise, though, especially considering our barback’s reaction, how open-minded a strip club can really be—how people can really be.

In this same ‘heteronormative’ space, where clients will as soon ask about your girlfriend as boyfriend, many of the dancers are equally as open, regardless of their orientation or religion. In a way, I simply hadn’t expected it.

When I kiss Ch. goodbye, it’s for me, for her—because I want to. I don’t think about the barback’s reaction, the dancers’ reactions; they pale to it. That’s part of growing up gay, maybe: learning that sometimes you have to forget others’ reactions to be happy.

So it’s honestly nice to be in a space where I can kiss a girl I’m interested in and others’ reactions are either disinterest or support. I don’t think (apart from the barback) I’ve gotten one negative comment.

Instead, An. will urge us to kiss again, and jokes about getting a video camera out. The humour dresses up the support, but I recognize it nonetheless and appreciate it, and she’s not the only one. She’s also heterosexual and, to my knowledge, Catholic.

I won’t be optimistic and assume that everyone doesn’t mind, but those that do have kept it to themselves, which I also appreciate. I feel like this is how people should interact. I don’t know if this is how it will stay, but it’s nice as it is.